It’s All There

As much as I want to say he is, he’s not completely out of my life. Before I go on, I feel like I should give my ex a name, just so we’re all clear who I’m talking about here. We shall call him D. Anyways, D is everywhere in my room. He’s in my drawers, he’s on my walls, he’s in my jewelry box. Anywhere I turn there’s something right there hitting me in the face. For the past couple of months I have been able to ignore it and not look at it or think about it, but it’s finally starting to annoy me. The fact that he can just delete me out of his life so… abruptly and without a word annoys me. Then again, I ended the relationship abruptly and kind of coldly, but that’s a whole ‘nother story. I will admit my faults and my mistakes. Maybe in a way what he did was karma to me. Maybe I had it coming. 

I have a promise ring, I have jewelry, I have clothes, I have a poem, I have memories. I have memories that frankly, I no longer want to look at. I want to have the weight lifted off of my shoulders and the dust swept away. I need to clean this room and rid it of D, just like he rid of me. So I have come to a snap decision, one that I’m not giving too much thought to because otherwise it might seem just a bit too crazy for me. I’ve decided that in a couple nights, with a letter I wrote to him, I will pack it all in a box and leave it on the top of his car, or by his car while he’s in work. I want him to have it all, I want him to realize what a dick he is being. And the sad thing is? I want to watch the expression on his face as he opens it. I want to see what he’s feeling since he was never good at communication those things. I want to see how he reacts to my ballsy decision. I want him to read the letter, as the promise ring circles a word of my choice. I want all the guys and all the girls to know, don’t sit back as somebody attacks your character. Don’t ever let somebody control your thoughts in a negative way. If somebody is holding you back, get some scissors and cut yourself loose. Is this a bad idea? Maybe. But is that going to stop me? Hell no. 

With all the love in my body,

whiskeyinateacupp xo

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