Love makes us do all sorts of things. It makes us crazy, silly, sometimes better people, sometimes worse people. It makes us insane, giggly and sometimes terrified. We do all sorts of things when in love. Love is a funny thing. It messes with you physically, emotionally and mentally. It changes the way you think about things, for good and for bad. As I sit in a Starbucks at a mall tonight, I watch all the couples walk in and out. I watch the ones outside in the chilly air walking by the trees lit up with lights. They all seem so happy. I wonder all the dynamics of their relationship, because everybody meshes differently with different people. Have they ever felt a broken heart before? Are they just putting up a front with their happiness? Maybe they’re going through heartbreak right now, have been recently or will be in any second. Life changes with every breath we take. I sit here and wonder this because we all know a broken heart is blind, and unlike love, it can make you do ANYTHING. A broken heart will transform you into a person you never thought you could be. It makes you realize how bold you are. It definitely does to me. In a matter of a couple hours, I will be watching the look on my ex’s face as I drop off all of our memories with him. He’ll have the necklaces he gave me. The one with the key on it from his diary when he was a little boy, the one that held so much meaning. He’ll have the one with the diamond heart on it from our first Christmas. He’ll have the movie ticket of our first date/first time seeing each other. He’ll have a ticket from a party we went to together. He’ll have the promise ring he bought me for our one year anniversary. He’ll have all of our movie tickets. He’ll have all of his clothes back. He’ll have a pink teddy bear he gave/won for me back. I will be leaving it on his car for him for when he gets off of work because I want no contact with him. Maybe it’s a cowardly thing to do, give it to him like that instead of face to face. I will be sitting in my car far from his, watching the reaction on his face. He probably doesn’t think I’d ever do this. He wouldn’t expect me to have the balls to drive all the way out to his work to do this. I want to see the shock on his face. He probably is not expecting this. I’m currently on the fence of hating my ex. They do say love/hate is a fine line.
I can be a ballsy person when I’m feeling bold. I think we should all be sometimes. All it takes is 20 seconds of courage, 20 seconds can change your life. However, when you have a broken heart… you live on adrenaline. It courses through your veins. A broken heart is blind. Love is funny, I always wonder about it. One thing is for sure, I’m in love with love. It’s such a beautiful thing.
With all the love in my body,