Sunday Funday (Or Not)

Today started out as just any other Sunday. I slept in late, didn’t bother to pull out my makeup, stayed in bed until almost 1 in the afternoon, cleaned my room, and have just been watching TV and relaxing. Only, below the surface of this Sunday Funday, it wasn’t the same. 

Army boy deployed today. All of the things that I wanted to say to him, to ask him will remain buzzing in my head. I couldn’t bring myself to text him all of those things, and possibly ruin his weekend with his girlfriend because no doubt they were together. I couldn’t ruin their last few moments together before he leaves for nine months. My best friend though, did point out to me, that he lied. That I deserve better and he was a jerk towards me for playing me like he did. Which is all true, and I thank her for the advice. It really helped. I feel like I don’t have to bother with him, even though I do still have feelings for him and I hate to see him leave under these circumstances… I’ll be okay. 

And during this Sunday, I was doing my nails like usual. Went to the bathroom to wash my hands, picked out my nail polish, and then checked my phone. I had a missed call from D, my ex. What? That took me by complete surprise. I debated about calling him back to see what he wanted, and I ended up calling. However, due to the blocking of my number, there are call restrictions. Part of me doesn’t want him to call back, or anything to do with him but part of me really wants to know why he called, and why he didn’t call again. 

Is it fate that I missed that call and that he didn’t call back? Is it a sign that I need to cut off all contact with him? Maybe it wasn’t going to be a good call. But part of me still really wants to know why he called. I feel I have so much to say to him still, as you saw from my post “Dear You”. I wonder if he’ll call back, and this time I’ll wonder if I’ll answer. I could never cut him off like he’s always been able to cut me off. 

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9 thoughts on “Sunday Funday (Or Not)”

    1. it was a tough day! and i vote for trying to forget him too, but theres so much behind us! and some men are pieces of shit! if you read some of my other posts, it might explain a bit more about the story behind us!

      1. haha okay! I think I’m going to put out a post tonight, so if you want you can keep on the lookout for that too (: otherwise “dear you” is a good one to read, “a broken heart is blind” “its all there” “late night rambling” or “with a shatter” (: those explain some of it!

  1. Don’t let your ex sabotage your happiness and relationships you deserve better! I am sure there is a lot that is unresolved and there are many things you will never know. I think you need to go cold turkey with your ex but that is just me. I want you to find that extraordinary love you deserve

    1. i wont! i never got ahold of him, and he never called back so maybe its a good thing? there is aloooot unresolved, i feel like and i feel i have so much to say to him still, but for now its not happening! we havent talked for a few weeks i think, so it kind of has been cold turkey, he blocked me all of a sudden without saying anything, so i mean its been going well, but thank you! i hope i find that love too (:

      1. I think it is, I think this relationship might be poisoning the happy future you want to have. I do not think you can find resolution in this case so I think the cut off needs to be permanent. Sometimes we can’t be friends with an ex I would say 99% of the time that is the case and it sounds like you went through the wringer with him. I think when you get serious about another guy he could pop up again don’t let it happen.

      2. yeah, i agree about the whole friends cant really be ex’s thing, i heard this quote that says “you cant be friends with an ex. If you are friends with an ex, it means you never really loved them or you still do” which is true and if i want to find a good relationship, i cant do that to myself or to him, so it probably is best. i wouldnt mind talking every now and then to touch base, but yeah i dont think we could be best friends again and i wont let him ruin a good relationship!

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