“Humans have a knock for choosing precisely the things that are worst for them.” – J.K. Rowling
Why is it that we always want what we know is not good for us? Why does a good portion of the time, the heart rules over the head? Why do we let our hearts control everything in us? The heart is a silly thing. It takes control of you, it overrides every other system in your body. It shuts down the brain, it produces butterflies in your stomach or it can produce a sickening feeling in your stomach. It makes you feel awake, more awake than you’ve ever felt. It can also depress you so bad you sleep all day. And then, the things the heart feels itself. When it pumps a thousand times a minute, when you see that special someone. How when something breaks your heart, you actually can feel your heart ache. You can feel it breaking. People often argue why a different organ is the most valuable piece of us, which can sometimes be true. But I will argue that even though there may be a more important organ in our body, the heart is the most amazing.
I was at a soccer game tonight. My younger brother plays in something called “AYSO”, it is a community sport where anybody under the age of 18 can play and be put on different teams. Well, I was walking to go watch him and I ran into somebody. I ran into army boy’s dad. Now, he doesn’t know me and I don’t know him. But they look so much alike. They had the same face, same body type, same walk. I just knew it was him. I had been suppressing my feelings as best as I could since army boy was deployed yesterday. Then it all shattered when I saw his dad. He reminded me so much of army boy.
I realized I still did have feelings for army boy, even though I know I shouldn’t. Even though I know he has a girlfriend, I know he’s been deployed, I know he’s going to be gone for nine months, I know he treated me like a jerk, I know I deserve better. I know all that. However, despite it all, I still can’t help but of thinking of him. I can’t help the sick feeling in my stomach thinking of him gone. I want him to be safe, I want him to come back already, even though he’s in New York and has a girlfriend.
I feel guilty just thinking about it. Thinking of army boy. Knowing I’m pining away over her boyfriend, here on the west coast, while she is on the east coast. Whether or not he cares, which I doubt he does, I still have feelings for him.
So the question is, why does the heart do this? Why is our head always overruled? Don’t get me wrong, I’m a firm believer in that not every thing has a logical reason behind it, because it doesn’t… well, in my opinion anyways.
Our hearts always ache for something, whether or not it’s actually good for us.