I was outside tonight. There was a cold, autumn breeze blowing against me. I was watching soccer and then I heard it. I heard the loud rumbling of a plane flying over us in the dark, night sky.
Something inside of me ached. Somewhere inside of me there is an empty void.
When I saw that plane, I wondered who was on it.
Where they were going.
Who they were with.
Where they were coming from.
When I saw that plane, I wondered why they were taking that trip.
Had they needed an escape?
Were they looking for a new life?
Was it a family trip?
I ached again as I saw more planes fly off to some unknown destination in the night sky.
I am jealous of them. So badly I wish I could pack some bags, buy a plane ticket and visit England. Visit some other part of the country. Meet new people. Meet a love. I want to travel, I want to have an escape.
There is something in me that needs an escape so badly. My heart and the void in my yearns for it daily. My heart calls out for England, or New York. I’m not myself lately and I need some change in my life, I need to get away. If I weren’t only 18, if I had a job, I would. I would buy a one way ticket and sleep in hotel to hotel on my travels.
My empty void is consuming me, I feel. There is a major piece of me missing, and I’m on the search to find it.
Those planes have people on them, people with stories. I always wonder about them. I’m always jealous of them. I find myself most jealous of them flying off at night, for some reason. Flying off into the great unknown, anxiously waiting for a new adventure.
Sometimes I wonder if my love is waiting for me on a different country, feeling the same way I’m feeling right now. Wondering If i’m out here.
I need to be on that plane in the night sky, flying away.