The Root of It

Expectations. The root of everything that kills us. Kills our hopes, dreams, wishes, thoughts and loves. 

We all have this idea in our head of how things are supposed to be and how we want them to be. Everybody plays these scenes in their heads, or maybe just some people do, but it happens. We play how we would like it to be in our head and then we get attached to that image and expect it to happen. 

But the reality is, most of the time, that won’t happen. And I’ve taken a hard beating with having expectations. I’ve learned that things won’t always go how we want them to, and that expecting things to happen how we want them to is pointless, because they usually won’t. 

Expecting leads to worrying, over analyzing, being needy, being desperate and everything bad. It’s like a poison that we just keep on drinking. 

But lately, I find myself expecting a lot less from boys especially, and people in general. And I’ve made an exciting discovery. 

It is like a weight lifted off of me. 

With the couple of guys I’m talking to lately, I haven’t expected anything from them, due to being let down so much in the past. And it really helps. I find myself being more happy with them, because I don’t have a picture of how it should be by now in my head. Normally, from talking for a couple weeks, I’m expecting things to be moving forward… but I find myself content with how things are moving. Whatever is going to happen is going to happen, and might as well just enjoy the ride and not kill it with expectations. Because expecting something is just going to ruin the situation. 

When you get rid of expectations, you get rid of the poison. It feels amazing. Things somehow, start flowing smoothly. Because there isn’t something in the way of interrupting them. They just happen.

And it feels good.

So my advice? Stop expecting things, from everybody, and everything. The less expectations you have, the happier and content you will be.

With all the love in my body,

whiskeyinateacupp xo 

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17 thoughts on “The Root of It”

  1. This is so true, but I think it gets harder the longer a relationship lasts to just roll with it. I needed this reminder tonight, so thank you.

  2. I think this makes a lot of sense– on the one hand I think we have to “expect” things of ourselves in the sense of goals and ambition but the false expectations of how things will be when we get this or that or whatever… they almost always disappoint. It becomes easy to spot those people who are always living a life that doesn’t measure up to their unreasonable expectations… They’re the miserable ones. Sounds to me like you’re on the right track!

  3. This is exceptional wise and thought-provoking. I think we really should lessen our expectations of life, since ultimately life owes us nothing … and proves it any chance it has ! On the other hands, our great expectations of ourselves can be motivational even when life slings mud (or worse) at us. In any event, this is a corker of a brilliant post!

  4. Good for you! So glad to hear this. It’s something so basic but wisdom most people seem to miss. I had a maddening experience with a mom who went around expecting things of people and me, taking the kindness my family showed her for granted. She had a lot of issues.

    I mention your thoughts in passing….just wanted to show how we’re on the same page in this:

    http://aholisticjourney.wordpress.com/2013/02/16/lessons-from-my-30s/

    It was the post that launched A Holistic Journey earlier this yr.

    Keep up the thoughtful writing. =)

    1. thank you (: and yeah, we all need a reminder of the basics that are so easily forgotten sometimes! and that’s never good at all! i read your blog and hey, we all have those years but we need the bad in order to appreciate the good (: glad everything is better now though!

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