First off, one of the best movies ever.
Secondly, I find this very true.
There are… a few things I feel girls (including myself) do sometimes that can just ruin relationships.
I’m contemplating every thing that I’ve done wrong these past six months of being single as I sip my warm coffee all cuddled up on a rainy day. I’m trying to figure out what it was exactly that I could have done wrong, and that I need to change and have changed with these couple of guys I’m talking to. Because honestly? It’s been… three weeks since I started talking to them. Within those three weeks, it’s been solid and hasn’t died out. This has been the longest amount of time I’ve talked to a guy (or guys in my case) this constantly since my ex. Every other one has been maybe a week or two and then fizzle.
So from my experience and crazy thinking going off of only a couple hours of sleep… I’ve come up with a list of things that us girls really need to stop doing and it could possibly help.
1. We cannot appear desperate or needy.
This is possibly one of the worst things we can do, in my opinion. I will admit, I have texted a guy a bunch of times before he responded in the past. And let’s face it, it just ain’t cute. However, I figured this out when I got a taste of my own medicine. There has been a couple of guys I’ve talked to who just message after message after message and then asking why I wasn’t responding and getting all butthurt. Like no, dude, back up. Especially after talking for… I would say a few hours. So, instead, I have reevaluated. I don’t do that anymore, I think to myself if they’re not going to message back, that’s fine. I don’t need them to, if they don’t then it wasn’t meant to be.
2. The first, brings me to number 2. Over thinking, worrying, analyzing… etc.
I do this. I still over think all the time, I just don’t show it. But this is only because my brain is constantly going a million ways all at once, and it’s something I just can’t help. I have a hard time focusing, I seriously think I have a minor form of ADD. But nevertheless, just stop. Or at least, please, do not show it to them. This really just ruins everything. Sometimes we just need to let it go, because life is out of our hands. There is in no way we can control how other people react and what they do. Sure, we can change our own course and we can control certain things… but in the scheme of it all, we really can’t. I love the saying, “If it’s something you have no control of, don’t worry about it.” This is true, it just wastes our time and kills good vibes. I asked a guy, a couple times, (country boy actually) what we were or where he thought we would go. Why why why? Because I was over thinking. I just needed to let it be, because the two times I asked… he stopped responding back after answering the question. So for the two guys I’m talking to now, whatever happens happens. I’m just taking things slow and feeling it all out and I go along.
3. Don’t give it all up at once.
That old saying is true and valid, leave something up to the imagination. I have given it all up at once, just because I felt like it was something I had to do to keep a guy. But in reality, it’s the opposite. I feel, in my personal opinion, it gives off the idea to the guy that he can keep on coming back for more, just for that. He will keep on coming back, like you feeding a homeless cat and it keeps coming back to get fed because it knows you will. Not saying starve an animal, but make his mouth water a little bit. Sure, there are cases where it turns out to be a relationship, and that’s great if it can happen like that but most of the time, it doesn’t. Take it slow, but not too slow. But don’t give him everything all at once, some people, girls included, get bored easily and then they stop. I’ve stopped giving in to guys like that, if I feel like they just want to dirty talk or anything like that, I pretty much don’t respond. I’m over it. I’m looking for a relationship now and I don’t want to be caught up in a guy’s “you’re everything I need… just for this moment”. I’m sorry but I’m worth more than texting or talking buddies for the night and than never talk again.
Most importantly, be yourself. Even if that means telling dirty jokes, being sarcastic, laughing loudly, looking like a hot mess half the time, loving corny jokes, a mind that has a million different ways going at once, a strong love for Sex and The City, a bit of a fiesty side and having an obsession with coffee. Somebody will like me just the way I am.
So please, don’t be scary. Don’t go all psycho. At least, right off the bat. Hook him in and then when you’re sure you two are good and solid… then you can slowly let your psycho out. Kidding.
With all the love in my body,