Truthfully, I’m scared.
Nothing in my life lately has gone right for this long. And honestly, I’m scared that any moment now I’m going to mess it all up with one of the two guys I’m talking to. If I’m being honest here, there’s a part of me that’s really rooting for the guy I had a crush on in elementary school. I have yet to see him, as he’s now visiting family in another state and will be back home on Tuesday. Sometime this week hopefully we’ll see each other and all I’m praying for is to not mess anything up with him. Yes, I like Hobby Lobby boy too, and I’m going to see him tonight… but there is a huge part of me that wonders about School boy.
Anything I ever touch usually just turns horrible. Or at least I feel that way.
I mean, isn’t it kind of funny and strange that even after so many years (11 I think, but I’m bad at math so don’t hold me to it), School boy and I found each other and are now talking? After I had a crush on him in first or second grade. And now here we are… flirting and talking. It’s just so crazy to me that this is happening, at the perfect timing as well. I mean, how much better could it have gotten? I messaged him three weeks before he moved back home, not knowing that that was going to take place. Something’s got to give here.
And then comes Hobby Lobby boy. I like him, I do. And I don’t want to hurt either one of them, but I can’t have both and truthfully at this point I don’t know who I’d pick if I had to choose. I’m just waiting and praying for School boy to come back home and I can hang out with him and see finally.
I just really don’t want to screw it up.
With all the love in my body,