Everything I Touch

Truthfully, I’m scared. 

 

 

Nothing in my life lately has gone right for this long. And honestly, I’m scared that any moment now I’m going to mess it all up with one of the two guys I’m talking to. If I’m being honest here, there’s a part of me that’s really rooting for the guy I had a crush on in elementary school. I have yet to see him, as he’s now visiting family in another state and will be back home on Tuesday. Sometime this week hopefully we’ll see each other and all I’m praying for is to not mess anything up with him. Yes, I like Hobby Lobby boy too, and I’m going to see him tonight… but there is a huge part of me that wonders about School boy. 

Anything I ever touch usually just turns horrible. Or at least I feel that way. 

I mean, isn’t it kind of funny and strange that even after so many years (11 I think, but I’m bad at math so don’t hold me to it), School boy and I found each other and are now talking? After I had a crush on him in first or second grade.  And now here we are… flirting and talking. It’s just so crazy to me that this is happening, at the perfect timing as well. I mean, how much better could it have gotten? I messaged him three weeks before he moved back home, not knowing that that was going to take place. Something’s got to give here. 

Right? 

And then comes Hobby Lobby boy. I like him, I do. And I don’t want to hurt either one of them, but I can’t have both and truthfully at this point I don’t know who I’d pick if I had to choose. I’m just waiting and praying for School boy to come back home and I can hang out with him and see finally. 

I just really don’t want to screw it up. 

With all the love in my body, 

whiskeyinateacupp xo

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8 thoughts on “Everything I Touch”

  1. Hey, we’re always going to have to make a decision in life. Sometimes you get two people you really like and you have to choose. But luckily, it’s not like you’re in a relationship with either so it won’t be too devastating for whichever one you don’t choose!

  2. Be patient, sit back, relax, and enjoy the process. Nothing makes things worse than putting pressure on yourself, which emits out onto others.

    A friend of mine is going through a similar situation, and it’s funny how I/someone can be more helpful to others than themselves. (Reference Will Smith’s movie Hitch. That’s me.)

    In short. Say what you have to say, do what you have to do. This is only the beginning of a relationship, any relationship. The more you start “insisting,” whether you’re saying too much or offering too much, the quicker doubt will rise in yourself and your potential partner.

    Best wishes, and you’ll get through this. And what’s the saying, “You gotta go through hell…”

  3. Hopefully with a little more time it will become obvious which guy you want to be with… I know that feeling of waiting for the axe to drop because everything always eventually goes wrong. I had a minor breakdown like this the other night because I couldn’t remember a stretch of months where I have EVER been as happy as I’ve been this year… but I think that’s just life and you don’t really know what’s coming for you so you have to try and enjoy where you are and make decisions that will get you where you want to be. And don’t try and sabotage yourself, that’s the worst! Just enjoy things while they’re going so great 🙂

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