I don’t know what it is about me, but I’ve always gotten gut feelings about things. There are these hunches that fill me when I sense something is going on. I couldn’t tell you how or why it happens, but it does. I also happen to be a very good people reader and vibe off of them. Sometimes I’ll be more quiet in front of other people, but then other people I’m outgoing right off the bat.
I’ve always been this way. I can always tell when something is wrong with someone. It’s just so easy for me to pick up on people cues.
When I get the gut feelings and hunches, they don’t go away until I try to figure out what it is. I’ll just get them randomly sometimes, or have picked up on very subtle clues that people send out. No matter what people tell me, the feelings are still there, though. Sometimes I’m wrong, but more often I’m right.
Take for one example, my ex. He likes to play online games on the computer, and in one of his games there was a girl. There was just something about this girl that didn’t sit right with me. He’s had other girl friends on the games, but this one seemed fishy. There wasn’t really anything she actually did or talked about with my ex that stood out to me that I can remember. Maybe she seemed the tiniest bit flirty, but I can’t recall. So, I remember my ex telling me she broke up with her boyfriend. My ex seemed to be there for her a lot, which I knew as a red flag to girls.
There’s no denying that if a guy is constantly there for a girl, reassuring her, helping her, picking her back up after a break up… she is going to develop some type of feelings for him. I’m not saying it’s always the case, but sometimes it is. They exchanged phone numbers and began texting. She started becoming really close with him, too close for my comfort being as I had a strange feeling about her. I told him this, and he didn’t listen. I said that she was going to fall for him and it wouldn’t be good because then she’d be let down and it’d make things worse. Instead he got mad at me, and along with a couple other few very minor problems we were having, he decided to break up with me. So we broke up and I was devastated. However, like with most of our break ups… he came running back when he realized he was wrong.
After we got back together, he spilled some information. During our breakup, the girl admitted to my ex that she liked him. That was his first issue with her. The second one, was that she wasn’t actually a “she”. She, in fact, was a guy who had a crush on my ex. I couldn’t help laughing in my head because my ex never listened to me, and even after that he didn’t.
This is just one of the many times that I’ve sensed something going on.
So, as School Boy and I were at a stand still for a while… I started feeling like there was something off here. I mean, I got that he wanted to take things slow, but this was going a bit too slow. So, one day I point blank asked him what he wanted out of us. I have grown so used to guys saying they like me, but only wanting the sex. I asked if he wanted just sex or if he was looking for an actual relationship.
I knew something was up.
It wasn’t anything bad, but still not what I wanted to hear. He told me that he did like me, he just isn’t sure if he wants a serious relationship right now.
I’m not even sure what to make of that information. It makes my stomach drop. All I can do is hope for the best and hope that he changes his mind.
I’m trying to stick to it, though. I’m not letting this one go because he’s unlike any of the other guys I’ve talked to lately. I’m not going to rush this, because great things take time and when it’s right… if it’s right, it’ll happen.
There’s this quote I’ve heard that always sticks in my head:
If you have chemistry, you only need one thing – timing. But timing is a bitch.
With all the love in my body,