Now, more than ever I find myself wondering this one, certain question. It has been nagging at my brain for a couple of weeks.
Why do girls always neglect Mr. Nice Guy?
Why are we always drawn so much more to the guy with an edge, rather than somebody we know will respect us, cherish us, be loyal to us, love us and treat us like we deserve?
I find myself doing this too, unfortunately. But why?
The nice guys always end up getting friendzoned, which really sucks for them. And for us.
We end up losing out on such an amazing guy, for a guy who is most likely just trying to use us.
I’m so tired of being in the position of going for a guy only to find out he’s just like the rest and just like the rest, is going to dump me when either A) he doesn’t get the sex or B) got the sex and is now on to the next victim. I’m at the point where I’ve been treated like shit way too many times, even when I think they’re different. Like School Boy? I thought he was truly perfect for me personally. He had the right amount of everything and bonus point? He would fit in PERFECTLY with my family. He has everything I’m looking for. The respect, the humor, our shared love of mostly all music (which is hard to find these days, believe it or not), shared interests, the down to earth kind of vibe, and his looks are a bonus. However, I’ve tried to contact him once and saw he read the message and ignored it. I messaged him back after the last time he messaged me, also ignored it. Our conversing has gone from every day and then out of nowhere, once, maybe twice a day and now it’s nonexistent. Which is all after he dropped the bomb on me that he “likes me, but doesn’t want a serious relationship right now”. I’m not sure exactly what happened, because I thought first off we were friends but I don’t even know exactly what’s going on right now.
It makes me really question if he really meant that. So, only time will be able to tell what he meant, if he actually meant that and what happens. There’s still a part of me that knows how well we would be together, but I’m not new on this situation and I know the most likely outcome will be I’ll be left in the dust, yet again. I was one step away from going off on him, asking why he is now ignoring me because I’m tired of that, but I decided against it for now.
And then comes another guy. A guy I’ve been talking to as friends for months now. I believe I’ve talked about him before, actually. The one who’s never kissed or dated a girl? He came back recently from school for the Air Force and we hung out just as friends, and after he left back to base… I could tell things shifted a little bit. I can tell he’s kind of into me, just how much he’s into me I’m not sure.
He’s a great, amazing, one of a kind guy. His heart is something to be envious of truly. His mind is in the absolute best place, he has extreme respect, knows exactly how to treat a woman, doesn’t have these high, impossible standards for women because he was raised with sisters and only by a mom, he’s caring, will try to cheer you up even if it’s the middle of the night for him and all these amazing things.
Except… for me, he could possibly be too nice.
For one, he isn’t a big fan of partying/doesn’t drink, and I like to do both. I like to have a good time, who doesn’t? I don’t need to drink to have a good time, but I do like to drink. That’s a big thing.
For two, my personality is a bit crazy. I have a dirty sense of humor, actually a humor for most anything really, I can be a little loud, I’m not innocent and well I can be a bit cheeky. I need a guy that’s pretty… aggressive, and respectably dominant as a male in the relationship. I don’t want to be the more dominant one. I need a guy that can keep up with me. I don’t know that he can, whether it’s his lack of experience or what, and honestly? I wish he could. If he were a bit more aggressive I would totally be drawn to him.
But this is why I’ve been asking myself about Mr. Nice Guy. I’m starting to question myself and wondering if I should give him a chance. He’s the type of guy who you would have NO trust issues with, and believe him 100%.
Can I get over these differences? I can’t tone down who I am and will never be able to be with somebody who waters me down.
Can I get over the fact that we don’t exactly like a lot of the same things? For example, I’m a fan of ghetto music. I like to have fun and a good laugh. He tunes that kind of stuff out because he believes it degrades women and all that.
I’m also confused because I want to try it out, but I’m extremely afraid of hurting him if it doesn’t work out. I don’t want to get in the relationship, or even start really flirting and leading him on and then a few weeks later, find out it just isn’t working. This is a situation to tread lightly, but I’m not exactly sure how to.
I’m very conflicted.
Why are we less attracted to Mr. Nice Guy?
Should I, should we, give him a shot?
It could be worth the change.
With all the love in my body,