Caught Red Handed

Somewhere in me, will always be a soft spot for my ex no matter what. 

We will always have this burning love/passionate hate for each other I believe. We just have that type of relationship. And as of lately on his end, it’s been hate. 

I was having a weak time thinking about him. I had just missed talking to him, seeing as how he was my best friend for almost five years. I wanted to know what was up with him and how things were going. However, he responded with “Please don’t contact me ever again. I don’t want you in my life.” That kind of hurt, but I wasn’t really surprised so I didn’t bother responding. Maybe I deserved that for breaking up with him and how it all happened. 

I still had been having a weak time thinking about him… until yesterday.

I went to Starbucks with my best friend and as we were walking to go order our drinks I do a double take on a guy sitting at a table with his college books, backpack and school supplies. 

It turned out to be one of my ex’s old best friends. I hadn’t seen, talked to or hung out with him in probably two or three years. It was definitely kind of awkward at first, especially knowing my ex and him had a big falling out. Though, as my best friend and I sat down I talked to him to ease the awkwardness that was obvious in the air. 

The topic of my ex came up. I told him that I broke up with D back in July. I asked if he had heard from D lately or when the last time they talked was. 

One of their last fights was about a girl, apparently. A mutual friend, actually. A girl that at one point, I was pretty close with. A girl that told me she didn’t really like D. A girl that my ex’s friend tried to go after. 

Well, well, well. My ex got caught red handed because his friend spilled some new information to me. 

That girl had given D a blow job, and god knows what else during one of our break ups. I’ve got a bunch of mixed feelings about this. 

Normally, I would be extremely pissed and ready to blow except for the fact that this happened years ago. I knew they kissed, but that was all. The more I thought about it though, the more it bugged me. 

Does this girl know about girl code? I mean… come on. For one, she said she didn’t like him and would never go after him, for two her and I were really close. That’s just not right. 

So I texted her immediately because it needed to be cleared up once I found out this piece of information. She admitted to it, and then told me she thought for a little bit that she liked him. If my ex and I were together, shit would have hit the fan let me tell you. 

Speaking of my ex… let’s talk about him. Let’s talk about how he called me “dirty” and would never view me the same way after kissing a guy after I broke up with him. Can we just back up a second here? 

He has done shit with girls, how far he’s gone is obviously not known to me. But for him to call me dirty when he’s being free for all with girls while we were broken up? I don’t think so. Especially since this is not the first friend of mine he’s gone after. He’s messed up big time plenty of times, but I always forgave him just as I’m hoping he’ll forgive me. 

He even said so many times he hated her. He said she bugged the crap out of him, before they did their thing. There were a few times when he didn’t want me hanging out with her because he thought she was a “bad influence”. That’s after what they did. Thinking about it today, it made sense. 

He didn’t want me hanging out with her because he was afraid that she would spill the beans. 

Even though it all happened with her, I was never insecure about it. She is not cute AT ALL, she is a slut, she’ll pretty much have sex and blow any guy and is not somebody who you want to be in a relationship with her. If anything happened between them, not to toot my own horn, but she is definitely a down grade hands down and there’s no denying that. That’s why I never got mad at my ex for kissing her because quite frankly, I could care less. 

Wasn’t even mad, bro. 

I actually laughed when I first heard that news two or three years ago. 

I don’t want to bring it up with my ex because it’s not worth it to bring it up to him now, but I do hope somehow somebody tells him I know. He’s either going to feel like shit or not care because he hates me. 

I hope he realizes how much of a douche he can be. I really hope somebody tells him I know now. 

So much for me being the dirty one. 

Asshole. 

With all the love in my body,

whiskeyinateacupp xo

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15 thoughts on “Caught Red Handed”

  1. Don’t let his silly insult disturb you because you know fully well that is not who you are. His words are just that. A word. That does not define you. I am pretty sure you know damn well how to establish yourself.

  2. Bahaha. Doesn’t his gf read this and your twitter? I’m sure they’ll find out 😉 I had dated my best friend of a good many years. She just became strange. Dumped me for painful reasons. I understand the hate/love. You’re not sure if the next time you see them you’re going to kiss them or stab them with a pen. I haven’t seriously talked to her since August. I’ve written to her twice. Sometimes there’s a pang, especially if I see her picture, but generally I can’t even remember her. Cut him off. Remind yourself that you have no control over his decisions (I often told myself she doesn’t exist if it got too much). Forgive yourself for whatever pain you’re holding onto. You’ll get through this 🙂

    1. If you’re referring to my ex, I have no idea if he has a gf or not, but I don’t have a twitter and he doesn’t know I blog soooo that is how I get away with this (; hahahaha
      And that’s exactly how it is with hate or love! You’re either going to want to ream them or a new one or smother them with kisses!
      That’s good about your ex though, I’m sure you’re better off without her anyways! I believe we’ll always in some part of us miss them, but it’s okay to miss things no longer in our lives (:
      I’m not holding it over either of them for what happened because it was so long ago, and it’s old news but I do hope he realizes he was a douche about so many things! haha
      Cheers to exes and being dumb about their choices!

  3. You’ve done a good job keeping your cool about everything. Of course it’s going to sting a little bit, but that’s normal. Of course you’re going to miss him! He was your best friend. That’s going to happen. But sometimes, you just have to let the other person go because the hate they feel changes the person they are. And the person he may be now, isn’t your best friend anymore. Keep on keepin on girl!

  4. If you two weren’t dating when things happened, they I don’t really see the big deal. I mean, I know there are still emotions there, but it’s not like he cheated.

    As a girl, I don’t know if I am completely familiar with this code. My opinion has always been that, if you happen to be close friends with someone and interested in their ex, you should tell them about your feelings. Tell them you’re thinking of going for it and ask for their blessing. If they don’t give it, you have a choice: Lose your friend for a chance with this guy, or keep your friend and lose your chance with that guy. I don’t see either choice being bad… you just have to make a choice.

    1. There’s no big deal, but it stings a little bit knowing my ex went after a close friend, and a close friend went after my ex, behind my backs. Neither of them told me anything about it, so neither of them asked permission. And no he wasn’t cheating. He could have gone after other girls, that’s fine and I never cared because you’re right, it was a break up and we were free to do whatever. What really got me mad about it is when he called me dirty and a bitch and all that for simply kissing a guy during a break up, yet he had done all those things when I never cared. That’s what really made me mad about it, that he was being a hypocrite and trying to control me

      1. That is ridiculous. That’s still the way of the world though. Boys will be boys but girls are either pure or sluts. It’s such a stupid double standard.

  5. hello! I really like reading your blog, so I nominated you for the Liebster Award. You can check out my most recent blog to find out the rules/my questions/other nominees at whatisbeingateen.wordpress.com
    Love, a teenager

  6. Ugh. That is an awful feeling– when you learn something after the fact. On the one hand it technically shouldn’t matter but these lines are really rather foggy and sometimes things hurt even if you can’t point to some cut and dry reason for why you have been wronged. He should never have called you dirty– I’d imagine that was his own hurt getting in the way but it is incredibly hypocritical. What a mess. It is probably best to try and mourn the relationship and put him squarely in the past where he belongs :-/

    1. It is a sucky feeling! But you’re right, the lines are kinda foggy in this situation!
      It is a mess and he is still in the past where he belongs, thankfully. I don’t need that kind of confusion and stuff like that in my life (:

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