I’ve said that time and time again.
When I know what I want, I will stick with that and go for it. It’s hard to change my mind to be honest with you.
So, when I told Mr. Nice Guy that I was very adamant on not becoming an official couple until we had some sort of physical connection, I meant it. I had only given him a friendly hug before. I also knew, in my head, that I wouldn’t be able to fall in love with him as he had fallen in love with me without any physical contact. I thought it was going to take months to fall in love with him because I’ve been jaded by love.
But lo and behold… I quickly found myself falling for him.
I didn’t intend for it to happen, yet I’m here. Stuck in Lover Land, driving down Schnookums Ave in the back of a pink Range Rover with Cupid as the chauffeur. Everything has a pink tint to it in my rosy sunglasses and ain’t nothing gonna bring this girl down.
Ain’t no way, no how. I will give you a nice right hook to the face with a dreamy grin on my lips.
Somehow, someway all of that went out the window. The more I fought it and tried to keep a safe distance, the more I lost.
It just sort of happened. I have no idea when or how, but I found myself wanting to tell him, all the time, that I loved him.
I love him.
It baffles me more than it baffles you, believe me.
I had set rules. Rules that were needed in order to become a couple with him, in order to fall in love with him. However, as soon as I felt myself falling in love with him there was no point in waiting to make it official.
So I did. I confessed all of this to my nice guy. We’re official now.
This girl has found love. Surprisingly, amazingly, lovely, capturing, breath taking love. If it’s this amazing just over text and phone calls, I can’t wait to see how it is when we can hang out as a couple.
My thoughts have completely belonged to him lately.
He may be a gentleman, but so far from what we’ve gone over… he knows when to be a man in the bedroom.
I’m happier than I’ve been in the longest time. I was doing perfectly fine without him, but now that he’s here I don’t want him to leave.
It’s really insane. I was enjoying the single life and being alone. But Mr. Nice Guy is in the picture now and I have traded all that in without a second guess.
Unfortunately, he couldn’t come home last week because his bosses didn’t turn in the paperwork in order for him to take leave. Hopefully this weekend he comes down with other people who are driving down this way.
If he does, Saturday is date day. He’s also saying he’s ready for me to take his v-card, which might happen Saturday night.
I’m kind of a bit nervous for that. Normally, I don’t care. But for one, this is a serious thing. It isn’t just a one night stand or a friends with benefits and I wouldn’t be nervous for that. This is the real deal, though. It’s meaningful. For two, I told him I’m not rushing or forcing him in to anything. He doesn’t have to do this if he doesn’t want to and I want him to take his time on deciding with this and making a million percent sure that this is what he wants.
He says it is.
Truthfully as happy as I am right now, there’s a little part of me that’s scared and nervous.
I’m jaded by love. My last relationship wasn’t perfect or anywhere close to it.
I feel very vulnerable. My nice guy is eventually going to work his way into the deepest, darkest parts of me and dig them all up. He’s going to learn about every inch and piece of me. All the secrets, everything that makes me tick in every way. We’ve only brought certain things to the surface and barely touched upon them.
One night, talking about being bullied and my eating disorder I shed a few tears over the phone. He didn’t know because I never told him, but for the fact I even let that happen just knowing he was there is big for me.
I know love is about being vulnerable, so here I am. I’m standing with my heart on my sleeve, open arms, and ready to bare all.
I’m ready to try and be as open as Miley Cyrus’ mouth and va-jayjay.
With all the love in my body,