Oh, the places a love lost will bring us to.
Sometimes we end up in a bar, looking to find forever in the arms of a strange at last call.
Or maybe we find ourselves sitting on the beach, looking out into the vastness of the ocean, thinking there must be more to life than we can see.
Most of us find ourselves chained to our beds, as if they were prisons and we can’t escape.
Well, tonight I find myself with a glass of whisky and chocolate-covered hazelnuts writing to you at 2 in the morning on a Monday listening to 90’s R&B.
Wherever we find ourselves on a night like this, wherever you may be tonight, whatever you may be trying to forget… we can’t run from it.
Tonight I’m keeping my window open to let the cold, late winter breeze embrace my skin in hopes that it will somehow keep my thoughts on track and not going in a hundred different directions.
Sometimes the hardest things in life are letting go of the people you love. They say love conquers all, but does it really? Does love conquer empty promises, inexcusable absences, little effort and shutting you down when they should be listening? To what extent does love conquer us? To what extent do we even want love to conquer us? Do we want to become blind to people who appear to treasure us, but in reality, aren’t who we need them to be?
So often we let love consume us and in return, our eyes develop a rosy tint. Everything seems to be perfect and it is only when we realize we deserve better do we see the wrong in the relationship.
We see the way they shut us down when we’re talking about something that genuinely excites us.
We see the way they don’t feel the need to be romantic with us any longer.
We see the way they won’t make an effort to come to events with us, always leaving us by ourselves… having to lie saying your partner has work.
We see the way we are putting in our entire soul only for half of it to be returned back to us.
We start to see the way we deserve better.
We become detached, after trying so long to make it work, trying to convince ourselves we could be happy like this forever.
But soon, the rosy tint fades from our eyes and we can see what we need.
The person we were trying to make them out to be just isn’t going to happen. You can’t change a person. We can’t make them into somebody they are not, but we try. Oh, do we try… we try until we are crying, wishing that we didn’t have to leave a comfortable, long, love. But we love them, so even when we are pushed to this point we keep trying. We keep giving 110% of us to them, purely out of hope they will change.
But they won’t.
You can’t change a person.
They have to want to change on their own, and hopefully it’s before it’s too late.
Love does not always conquer all.
Sometimes, as much as we don’t want to or believe we can’t, letting go is the best thing we can do for ourselves.
We have to say goodbye, lover.
With all the love in my body,