The Soft Hum

The sun starts to set, a golden sunrise producing the rainbow in the sky. The clouds are a hot pink, the sky behind it is shades of blue, green, yellow and orange. Then the sun sets more, becoming pink and the sky turns a dark blue and a purple. It’s gorgeous, really. One of the most amazing things we can see in a lifetime. A sunset holds so much to me, so much passion. It comes and goes right before your eyes, but while it’s there it’s wondrous. If I could see one thing for the rest of my life, it would be sunsets. 

But then comes night. I am in love with night. 

The sunset is the last big bang of the day, but the night rolls in. 

People get quiet, traffic slows down, lights come on, a light breeze rolls in and twinkling stars shine in the vast sky. There’s so much about the sky, about the world at night. Some people will never really understand or stop a moment to take it in. 

Night has a slow pace, but at the same time it is so amazing. It engulfs us. Listen, smell, feel and see the night, if you can. 

Listen to the distant and soft sounds of airplanes going on their journeys in the sky. Listen to a car every now and then passing by, the soft and slow hum of the engine. Listen to the crickets chirping, slowly fading away night by night as we head into winter. Listen to the soft radio on in the car. 

And while you listen to all that, smell the crisp air. Smell the fires burning in homes, one of the best smells of fall and winter to me. As soon as it gets dark, you can always smell firewood burning. Smell the freshness of everything because somehow daytime smells different. It’s stuffy. Night is so open, so vast, so mysterious. 

Feel the openness. Feel how big this world and place really is. There’s so much to feel at night, so many emotions. We all feel them late at night. From the burning hate, to that burning passion. Nighttime is honest, there is a security in the night. It’s like a blanket that we hide under. Our emotions take over. We hate, we love, we have a fiery passion, we have a need, we have a want. We have the craving of wanting to be touched, to be held, to feel skin next to us. We crave to hit something and blow up like a volcano. But that’s okay, because we have emotions. We feel. The night will wash away all the pain, and give us hope for the next day. Night washes away everything from the day before, and during the night, it preps us to begin again for the next day. 

But if you can see the night, you will see it all without seeing anything and with seeing everything all at the same time. Look up at the sky. You can see all the amazing, beautiful, shining stars. Millions of years old, but so many wishes and hopes and prayers go up into them. You can see all of those, all of the wishing upon a stars. Each and every one of those stars have been hoped on. See the dark sky as the backdrop for even darker mountains pressed up against it. See the moon hanging in the sky, so silent and so strong and so soft. The  brightness of it illuminating everything down on the ground. See all the lovers kissing underneath it. See the moon peeking through the blinds into the window of the room. See the tousling of the sheets between people, or the tears being shed. See the hope and the burning need for a miracle to happen. See the water of an ocean glistening beneath it, rippling softly. See the city lights down below, sparkling in all their glory. 

See all the first kisses happening. See cars steaming up in a parking lot. See somebody taking a walk, hugging themselves tight because nobody else will. See the couple fighting, screaming, crying and getting angry. See me, the girl who grew courage and changed in the moment when I threw that glass bottle of soda at the ground with such a force with the realization that my life was changing and it was officially over between my ex and I. See the shatters and pieces of glass fly everywhere, and an explosion of liquid. See the leaves falling slowly and silently, hitting the ground only to be blown away in that light breeze. 

Because in the morning, it will all be gone.

There is such an honesty in the night. It’s so beautiful, so tragic, so amazing, so mysterious. Lovely. 

Night is like the soft hum of our favorite song. 

It’s the white static on the radio. 

It’s the magical inspiration. 

It’s the tears shed. 

It’s kisses made. 

It’s everything in between. 

With all the love in my body, 

whiskeyinateacupp xo

Forever This Young

I’m so tired of all my “I want a boyfriend/I want a hand to hold/I want somebody to love/I want a guy to talk with at the end of the day” blah blah blah crap! Life is so short to be worrying about this, especially being young! Why do we always feel the need to have a companion at the end of the day? Sure, it would be extremely nice at the end of the day to have a significant other there for you no matter what, but if you don’t have one right now maybe it’s just not the right time and your time will come soon. This realization hit me today, as I was sitting in the back of a car with the windows down, the music blasting, my hair blowing around me and the cold, chilly air hitting my cheeks on a beautiful night. It’s moments like these I live for, the simplicity of it but the impact it has. Life is so beautiful while we’re here, so why do we always groan and complain about it? Can’t we just enjoy what we have while we have it? One door closes for the next to open, and these doors are always opening and closing. I think we, including myself, need to just enjoy the waves as they come. Sometimes it’s good to be lost, because that can happen to be the place where we find ourselves. Sometimes we just need to close our eyes, listen to the music, really listen to the music. Not just hear it, but take it in. Take in the lyrics, the beat and the message behind it. I find myself getting lost in it sometimes. We just need to close our eyes and feel the fresh wind stinging our cheeks, reminding us that even though there are bad days there will be good days to blow those away. We need to experience these beautiful things in life. 

I feel that most of us, again myself included, don’t get to know being by themselves well enough. We can survive on our own, and we need to realize that. You will never get this exact day again, sure there will be plenty of Tuesdays in our lives, but this exact day will NEVER be again. This is a gift to us, I think. We have to make the most of what we have. So please, stop fretting about what is out of your hands and up to some power like fate. Whatever happens happens, right? Yes. Bad things happen in life, and it’s okay to be upset about them, I’m not saying it isn’t. What I’m saying is, give enough grieving time and then get back to this beautiful place to experience the most of it. This world, this earth, this place, is an extremely beautiful thing and you can’t see everything from inside of a room. Not everything beautiful is material. Nature is beautiful as well, and if you have somebody to experience this with then I am truly happy for you and honestly, somewhat jealous, but good things come to those who wait, yes? 

With all the love in  my body, 

whiskeyinateacupp xo

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