I realize most of you know who I am. What you may not know though, is that you’ve only touched the surface on who I am and what makes me tick. I thought that I’d write a blog and try to give you a just a little glimpse into the deeper parts of me and let you get to know more of me. Just some of the things that make me tick, some that make me who I am, what makes me smile, what makes me cringe.
I’m not just one handful, I’m two. I’m part handful of sugar, and the other handful is spice.
First off, my name is actually Katie.
Hi, my name is Katie and I have a Starbucks and Pinterest addiction.
(Hi, Katie.) – insert random group people here.
I have no idea where to start. There’s so many ins and outs with me, to be honest with you. I feel things in my heart and that is where I lead from 100% of the time even if I shouldn’t. I don’t listen to my head, ever. It’s gotten me in bad situations but my heart rules over everything. When my heart feels something, it burns, yearns, craves, wants and desires whatever it is. Then, of course, there’s the little nagging in my head questioning everything. Every. Single. Detail. Because that’s who I am.
But do I always listen to it like I should? Noooo, of course not.
It leads me to trouble sometimes, but hey… a good story always comes out of it!
Although, I can’t say that doing that bugs me. As bad as it may be, I’m the person that gives you advice to follow your heart, not your head. What you truly really want, the thing that makes you the happiest, will be found in your heart. Your head is just there to either scare you, stop you, or make you rationalize things. However, life isn’t always rational.
In my opinion, life is one of the most irrational things. It very rarely makes sense, which is why it doesn’t make sense to try and make sense and rationalize it. Make sense? That’s my philosophy anyways.
While at the same time that my heart is so passionate and when it craves something it does so very hard, it’s also very indecisive. I’m passionate about life, love, and adventures but if my heart doesn’t feel strongly about something then chances are it never will.
I’m a fighter when I’m mad and I’m a lover when I’m loving.
What I mean by that is, I am very much both sides. I don’t fight about just anything or everything, though. I can let the little things slide because we all have to pick our battles, right? But when there is something inside me that just snaps or hurts me enough it’s best you keep a safe distance because chances are I will go off. Very, very few people have seen this side of me. It comes out very little, but when it does it comes out full force. Most people think I’m this innocent little thing, but if you cut deep enough… I know how to cut back deeper.
I’m a Pisces, so I feel a thousand different emotions all at once. I don’t like going off on people and being harsh, but I can and I will if I feel provoked enough. You get me going and it’s hard to stop sometimes because I just let it all out.
I also happen to be pretty independent and stubborn. I like to have my alone time, where I can get away to a place where nobody else is and just relax and unwind. This is how I recharge myself. When I say I want to be alone, I mean it. Some people don’t get that hint and don’t give me that. That’s something that stresses me out and makes me feel suffocated. When I told my ex I needed to be alone and needed space when we broke up, he kept harping on me for answers that I didn’t have. He wouldn’t leave me alone. After a while, a while of feeling suffocated, stressed and angry at that… I shut down. I stopped texting him back, I wouldn’t answer him and I felt so much better. If you let me have my space, it’s almost guaranteed that I will come back and talk to you and everything will be handled calmly. But if you don’t, I get really testy because of how anxious and suffocated I feel and I will get mad.
I don’t need somebody to be with me every single day, all day. In fact, I hate that. I hate when people are needy and clingy especially in relationships. I need my space to do my own thing and you can do your thing and we can each have our own life, while at the same time having OUR life. Let me do me, and you do you and it’ll be perfect. I encourage boys night in or out, I encourage hanging out with friends and doing whatever you want to do (of course, to the extent of knowing the relationship boundaries) but I’m not going to keep a guy pent up with me. It’s so much more attractive to me when a guy has his friends and I have mine and it’s also very attractive when we can bring them together. I like to have my girls night and do my own thing, too. If a guy wants to be all up on me all the time, I’m going to get irked because I hate that. Absolutely hate it. It’s nice you want to be with me and I want to be with you, but come on… everybody needs their own lives and time away from each other.
I don’t need to be taken care of 24/7 and have things done for me all the time. I may be a girl, but I’m very stubborn. If I have my mind set on finishing something, or solving something like say… a puzzle or god knows whatever else, let me do it. I don’t want the help, I want to figure this out on my OWN, unless I ask for help. I’m the type of person that if I ask for help on something, it’s usually my last resort and you know I really want it.
I want a guy to be dominant though at the same time. I know I’m a lot to handle so I need a guy to tell me when I’m being stubborn or stupid. This is something hard to explain. There are certain times to just leave me, and other times to give their input. I can be a little fiesty, sassy and cheeky but I don’t do it to be rude, mean or bitchy at all. Just challenge me a little bit. I need to be challenged a little bit, otherwise I get bored.
While on the flip side, I’m a strong lover. I’m very cuddly, I love affection and my hand held. My guy is my guy and I don’t share with other ladies. He’s the guy that will get the most attention out of any other guy I talk to. I’ll cook for him even though I don’t always like cooking. I’ll try things for him, in the bedroom and wherever else. I’m open and laidback so I don’t see the harm in trying new things, because you never know. I’m not narrow minded in any way. I’m always all ears and absolutely encourage him to come to me with full honesty at any time. There’s a time for romance, and there’s a time for getting down and dirty. I’m an amazing friend, but an even better lover in the bedroom. I will take a bullet for somebody I love strongly, without question. Even if I’m having the worst day, or going through some trouble, I will put a smile on my face and you’d never know. I’ll help you with your troubles without even asking to help about mine, and I do it without expecting anything in return.
My best friend… you don’t mess with her, I have her back like nobody’s business. Her and I are a crazy packaged deal. She’s my soul sister and her and I share a crazy bond.
If there’s an argument I’m not the type of girl to bail out. We’re gonna calm down and then work it out, because an argument doesn’t mean the end of a relationship. I’ll be his rock, his shoulder, his lover and his best friend. I can hold the weight of his problems and I’ll do it gladly and I insist on it. I’ve got his back no matter what. But like I expect from him, I’ll tell him when he’s being out of line.
There is no the guy wears the pants or the girl wears the skirt in my relationship. We’re both equal and we both have equally as much say in everything. I won’t push a guy around and I won’t take it if he pushes me around.
Humor is one of the fastest, easiest ways to my heart. You know I like you when I can tease you and joke around with you and I absolutely love it when a guy, or anybody in particular is the same way. I can take the jokes about myself because I joke around about myself all the time. If we can’t laugh at ourselves, who can we laugh at?
I have a very dirty, sarcastic, corny, dry, sick, awkward, punny sense of humor. I’m pretty much all over the board. I hate it when a guy is stuffy and can’t joke around, especially when I can’t joke about him to him. If you can’t take the heat, get out of the kitchen. I could never date a guy who couldn’t joke back just as fast and openly as me. I don’t joke around to the point of making somebody feel bad about themselves at all, but I do joke around. It is so unattractive, almost a turn off actually, if a guy doesn’t joke around with or tease me.
Arrrrrgh. I get turned off just thinking about it! I want a person to challenge me with his humor, because mine is so strong at times as well. I like to laugh my ass off. If you can’t make me laugh my ass off… there’s probably little to no chance that it’s going to work out.
But my heart was made to love, I believe. Despite all the times my heart has been stomped on and thrown to the ground by people, I still always try to see the good. More than likely I will always forgive somebody, because life is too short to hold grudges our whole lives. It may take a little while, depending on the situation but I’ll get there. Sometimes I just want to be mad. We have emotions and we need to use them. People need to feel angry sometimes, to let it out. We need to feel angry and sadness in order to truly appreciate the happiness.
I have a MAJOR soft spot for animals, romantic movies, chocolate, corny jokes… actually all jokes, cuddling, my hair being played with, coffee and when people get bullied or made fun of. My heart goes out to them because I know how it is. I know what it’s like to get made fun of and to be bullied.
Especially girls who have eating disorders because that hits so close to home. You will never hear me call a girl ugly for being skinny. I have never said “oh my god, she’s so fat”. I HATE that. HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE it. And when people make fun of overweight people when they see them at the gym or trying to work out?
Excuse me? You’re making fun of them for trying to get in shape? Who the hell do you think you are? They’re trying to be healthy. Everybody has to start somewhere. Don’t even get me started on this topic.
When people make fun of people who have mental disabilities? Oh… my… god. They were born that way. Don’t make fun of somebody for something they can’t control. They didn’t choose to be like that. I worked in a county day class (which is a classroom at elementary schools for kids with disabilities) for a couple of years when I was in 4th-6th grade. They are honestly the nicest, sweetest kids and people I have ever met. They’re always so happy and so kind.
I have tons of insecurities about myself, as most people do. But I don’t focus on them like I used to. If somebody doesn’t like me, I’m not asking you to stay.
I’m very clumsy. It’s a good day if I don’t somehow manage to hurt myself.
I have my wedding dress picked out, my kids names picked out, my dogs names picked out… don’t judge.
When I’m nervous, I tend to smile and/or laugh.
My haven and place of choice would have to be driving in the car with the windows rolled down and the music blasting. That’s my therapy. It’s so calming. Which also brings up me loving to sing even though I absolutely can’t at all. I’ll still sing and I expect you to sing with me. That makes it even more fun.
It’s really bad, in public I’ll start dancing or singing and… it’s just a hot mess. I do it naturally and sometimes I don’t even realize it. I just love to have a good time and laugh. I love adventures. We have to take them all the time.
Sorry this post was so long! I hope all of you stuck it out to end, I’m sure it was a tough one to bare! Kidding! This just barely touched it all, though. Which is kind of the cool thing about me. When you think you know it all about me, there’s always more. This is just the beginning.
Stay optimistic, stay smiling, stay amazing and listen to your heart always and never forget to live your life with a bang.
With all the love in my body,